whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
