Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
