you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
