carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
