Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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