this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
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I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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