Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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