If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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