I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
