They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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