what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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