I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
