Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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