We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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