they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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