yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize