just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I came so hard my ears popped.
where are my eyebrows?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
