Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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