I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
