Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
