It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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