It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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