Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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