doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
