she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
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Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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