There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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