I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
