I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
