New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
