So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
