White coat. Heels.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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