Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
