Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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