Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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