you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
