I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
