I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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