i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
