I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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