I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I will pee on everything he values.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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