If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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