Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize