shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
