Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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