I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I need to calm my uterus...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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