the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
