Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
