he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
