Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
