OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Someone shattered a urinal.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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