After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Never underestimate the power of titties
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