You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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