i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
