beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
