I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
