Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize