Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
