i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
