Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
