just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
