You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
