you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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