I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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