I wish my penis had an off switch
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize