How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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